I Not Sick - Episode 2

Humorous and embarrassing stories from their childhood, reflecting on the struggles of growing up, the nostalgia of the 90s, and their experiences with sickness and school. Horror movies and football.

Transcript

0:15

yeah, episode two. The deuces. I'm still not sick. Still not sick. It's coming though. I can feel it. I can feel it coming. I can feel that fucking back to school sickness fucking coming to fucking beat us up. Like your boy's hardly waiting. My boy's hardly waiting. yeah, he went from immune from everything to I'm sick now. I guess that's what we could, the name for this podcast came from my nephew, Tony's boy. He got COVID one time and he really wanted to see my daughter, Tony's niece. And of course she was like a little baby at the time and he wanted to go next door to see her because that's where my mom lives. And we were like, he can't go because you know, he got COVID. He's like, I'm not sick though. I'm not sick. And then anytime he got sick, he'd... and COVID. Same time. You had a cocktail of everything. And he was, his nose was running. He looked terrible. was coughing horse ran out of breath. Easy, rough. was, he was rough and he heard his, his baby was coming next door and he got up and got his shirt on and he was walking over there. We're like, you can't you're sick. not sick. I not sick. I'm not sick. I'm good to go. I'm gonna kill this motherfucker. I'm But now that he's going to school, he's sick all the time. He wakes up, mama, I'm I can't go to school. it is though? Every time you want to go every time you're going to go to school. It's like I'm sick. You always wake up with that thought like with mom all the time and she just look at me. trying with mom and it was like, Are you sure you're sick? I'm devastatingly sick right now. If you're, if you're that sick, you're going to go to school and they'll call me. What? telling you I'm sick right now that I'm going to shit my pants. That's that's how sick I am currently. Yeah, I just got sick coming in here to tell you that I was sick. The three steps from the door to the bed, annihilated everything. It might have like little nauseous. go tell mom I'm sick. She looks at you. I'm fine. I'm going to school. I'm going. How many times is it horrible when you missed the bus? You missed the bus. You're like, Mom, Mom, shaker awake, you know, I missed the bus. Her eyes pop open like fucking Squidward and that fucking meme sits up like the Undertaker. You're like, God, I'm in trouble. They said there's some times where you're like, man, I should have said. Fuck it, and I'm not going to say shit about missing the bus. I'm just going go back to sleep. And then when she wakes up, we could both be surprised, you know, she could be surprised. I'm home. You didn't wake me up. what happened? Yeah, my alarm didn't go off, you know, some kind of bullshit, but that never happened. that, but you thought of that cause I did too, but you were so damn scared. Like when you woke up late for the bus, it was like you went through a million different scenarios in your head and nothing seemed good. No, you already know what's gonna happen. You're like, I'm gonna tell mom I missed the bus and she's gonna get crazy. If I was to let that lapse and let the school call and say, hey, your boy didn't show up to school today, dude, she would have popped out of the bed, ran to the room and probably beat us. Like it would have been bad. Well, you don't know, you know, like she might've got there and just kind of been like, it's too much effort. You know, it's like, fuck them kids. She's just been screaming at us. Now I wouldn't want to, well, at the time, it would have to the, it would have went to the, okay, what'd you call it? The voice machine, whatever the hell was it? Answering machine, Jesus. It's been so long since I had an anxing machine, I forgot the name of it. I want to say voicemail. The voicemail, you know, the thing with the tape in it. Like that was, like that was cool, like. Do how many times we probably could have just pulled the tape out and been like, whoop, that tape don't exist. Messages don't exist. But that didn't happen. Yeah. It was different when you had a phone stuck to the wall. the 90s. I really, really missed like late eight, like 89 to like 96. Like that area that just, the moment in time, beautiful. It's so fun. Even the early 2000s was kind of just like a hangover from the 90s, which was a good hangover. And it was like, then you get 2010 and things just. fell apart. Well, 2008 really, you know, was a good time though. No, no worries then drink out of the hose and. just because, you know, we became, you know, more adult or whatever, you know. I think no matter how old you were in the 90s, it was fun. I don't ever hear anybody say the 90s were terrible. 40 years old in the 90s. If I was that I'd be like, it's great. Or this is this is shit, you know, it's better in the 70s. You know, I don't know. It's one of those things you never know. You never know how shit's gonna be. But now, going to school, getting sick at school. How many times you go home? This is kind of where we're leading real fast. But I have an embarrassing story. I was in elementary school. going out east Avondale Remember I shit my pants. I shit them, man. Like shit them full. And I remember going to the nurse and being like, got a headache. And she's like giving me Tylenol and shit dude I got fucking underwear full of shit dude and and she's like sit down over there and yo dude they had to smell it that was the funny thing can you not smell a fucking pants packed with shit? You smell this headache? Can you smell this headache? Fuck. And I remember her telling me to go. since it was that time, you had to be in sweatpants. Like, what are the chances that you're in jeans? I mean, his jeans are sweatpants for that time. I don't know why, like if I did on purpose to go home, because there's no reason to shit your pants if you know you got to shit, you know? I don't know what happened. the one excuse you get from work. You know, could use it one time. shit my pants, gotta go home. Can only use it once. legit. Sometimes it happens. Now it just slides out, just boop. to sneak a fart out. It didn't work. But no, grandma came to get me. His mom didn't come. And I remember getting in the truck and I wasn't sitting down. I was, I was like on my hip. I was like looking at her on my hip and she was like, why are sitting funny? It's like I got a headache. My head hurts so bad, it hurts so bad, my hips hurt. don't know how to, my head hurts so bad. I don't know what to do. And she looked at me. She looked at me in the old truck and she leaned over and she rolled down the window and she didn't say another word until we go home. She knew. I don't even know what. I don't know like it's one of those things were like little kids go to the whatcha call it they'll go to the nurse and be like, I got a headache and they probably just take them at the word and little kids smell like crap anyway, like how many times are there's a stinky kid in class where you're like man Dude, like that kid stinks caca just body order and not shower and there's a difference between shit. well, there's a difference between solid turd and diarrhea turd. You know what mean? Like diarrhea turd smells sick. Like it's worse. It's got a little little ting to it, you know, like if it's a solid turd, you're just like, you know, you're hoping you can make it to the toilet to just flip it out. Yeah. this wouldn't, you know. How come you didn't go like, rinse your underwear off? Like how come you didn't be like, I'm just gonna go like rinse these, rinse these ca ca shorts out in the, or just toss them in the trash? Cause it was a slow solid turn. guess I could have just took them off of the turd fallout continued on my day. Just fucking shoot him like a little rubber man. god Just go out now prospect of going home much greater All right. So anyway, little hard cut there, but that's okay. Pick up. Anyway, back to being stinky kids in the in f***ing elementary school Tony crapping his pants a lot. Not a lot. You say to work now just slides out just whoop just whoop whoop whoop. back then. But it's because I have trust issues. I trust my farts too much. You know, I'm like, I'm like, I can, I can eat this one out and catch it if I have to. No. pretty I'm pretty sure this is just a fart poop shit. my god Yeah, no, I do that. I that. I did that at f***ing the hospital. We went to the hospital we were waiting For some thin I think it was a the baby's dental procedure or something Sitting there at the urinal pissing pissing pissing. I was gonna rip it rip a fart. Yeah No, yeah, I ripped your shit caught it dude. I caught it perfect It was a solid catch. I was like, man, it like a catcher's mitt. Boom. Got it. You know, I grabbed it. was like I had like the Thanos hand of f***ing doom around that f***ing turd. And then I went to sit down on the dude. I want to sit down on the toilet. When I sat down, I pull my pants down and the turd fell out of my ass, hit the f***ing underwear, dirty them up, fell on the ground. I was like, my God, man. So I did what I did with any normal person would do. And I took those underwear off and I threw them in the f***ing trash. any normal person who has shit their pants with do. the difference between you and me with shitting our pants is yours is solid enough to catch in your ass cheeks. Yeah, mine don't filter through, you know? too soft. If it leaves the orifice, it's, it's not catchable. it leaves it's hitting it's hitting cotton touching cotton immediately. That's hilarious. so speaking of your little shit story, pop on the other day. I tell you this, let me talk about this last time. Yeah. He was up, you know, a little buzzed walking around and we're sitting there talking and I see him take his shoes off. And I looked down at his shoes for some reason and I see shit. It's like the side of the inside of his shoe is like stained brown. I was like, I didn't think nothing of it. It's like, damn, he has a stain in the shoe. And then I came home and mom tech and mom texts me pop his shit his pants. I was like, I know he goes, how do you know? was like, I seen his shoe. Then she says me a video of him saying, don't video me. And he's holding his shoes like this and shit stain. What was he doing? Rinsing it out? He, washed them in the washer and the shit came out. I guess that's a plus. I've never had a, I've never had, dude, if a turd was that bad, there is no way it would travel magically down my leg and hit my shoe. That would be like just stained, stuck to my ass or like back of the leg, something crazy. he had a dot on his underwear and a dot by his knee. He, he shit his underwear hit close by the knee and then went straight to the shoe. What do you try to do? Just rattle can it out? Just kind of shake the leg a little bit till it f***ing came out? How do you not know? when it happened, he didn't know what happened. Cause I he shit. I seen his shoe. We sat there for a while. I left a little bit later. Mom texts me. I'll be shooting his pants. said, know. I'm aware. I've seen the evidence Teases you're like matlock over there. Mm-hmm. I got it That all makes sense. Yeah, I already know I already know what happened. I've been there. That's hilarious. Yours is on your side. But I think it's just the the delay. Okay, so you're good. It's good overall. Like mine is good, but yours is fuzzy, it's yours was fuzzy last time and it came through fine. It's whatever it looks like on your side. on... No, but like on the actual recording device. yeah. Okay. Edit this part out too. You got a lot of work to do. Anyway, PSA, Bubba, if you're listening, clean your room. Clean your room, sir. Clean your room. Anybody who needs to hear this, clean your f***ing room, please. All right, continue on. Yeah, wash your ass, wash your ass, clean your room, brush your teeth. Or as like we like to say in this house. ya. ass. Yeah, brush your ass. Brush your ass, wipe your teeth. Yeah, that's how we do it here. We brush your ass and wipe your teeth. Clean your f***ing room, please. Yeah, like, so my kids, they bathe every two days. Tay's every day, but Bubba's more like every two, three, four, maybe. Maybe a week. You never know. wife goes a week without washing her hair. It's all right. Eh. That's just her hair. It's not like she's going a week without washing her ass. Her ass, she goes every other day. No, I'm just kidding. She showers every day. There's no such thing as good bacteria from dirty ass like that doesn't exist if you have dirty ass bacteria that is bad If you fart a little too hard, you better wash your ass every f***ing day So, speaking of bacteria. I was wrestling with my son. And I, scratch my nuts, right? Like I was sitting in there in bed and I scratch my nuts. I start wrestling him. He's like, dad, what does that smell? You know? And I was like, I just scratched my nuts. Sorry. You know? And then he, then I start to fall asleep and my mouth opened a little bit and I feel his palm of his hand. Yeah, wipe down my lip and my tongue. And I'm like, what is that? Because my balls. Hahaha. I was like, do I get up and brush my teeth? Like, what do I do? at that point you would wipe your teeth. Yeah, wipe my teeth and brush my ass. Yep, that's how you do it. Yeah, he got me back. He waited for me to fall asleep Hey, you know, you gotta take the opportunity when it arises. Remember when we got uncle? I didn't do that to him. Like it was just like, did a little scratch, a little pinch and roll and like we sort of wrestling. He's like, Ooh, what's that smell? I was like, I know what that's from. And then he got me back with the whole. He made sure he got a whole five, you know, he's making sure. and I was like, did he really do that? Like he said he did. Or is he playing? Like he is. He gave me the whole from the wrist to the tip of the fingers. So boom. You made sure it counted, you know, he made sure it counted That's always fun It's like it's like Hetay, you know You got you got to really get up that nostril with that little finger Rough That little finger goes right up to you could wipe it right on the inside of that nostril little stinky butt. That'll your day that'll ruin your year Dude, that's what you what you wipe out from down there. That's just stains. just do a little little wipe it up the inside of the butt. You got to be committed. it and like scrub it and. You got to be f***ing committed. That is that is instant pink guy. Instant pink guy, stinky ass. Yeah. COVID from it somehow. It's not good. No, no, but you were good with that little pinky. That uncle up his f***ing right up his nose. Boom. those big nostrils man in my eye but like knuckle I didn't even hit the walls and as I'm I none of my hairs He woke up, was like, what the f***? What? That's what big brothers do. They're like, hey, go do this. I'll be right behind you. And you keep looking back, you're like, he's there, he's there. And then you go in for it. Turn around, this motherfucker is across the house watching TV with popcorn. Like what the f***? How much time did you have? it. I never I didn't exist in there. We came to flash. Yeah, talk about watching shit. It's like unsolved mysteries. Yeah, that's only bad thing you watch and solve mysteries back in the day. That should spook you. Just that dude's voice. That's you. You'd wake up. Yeah, we had we were in a trailer. Two couches, one on one side of trailer, one side on the other. So it was a couch love seat. This guy. would fall asleep, I'd be watching untold mysteries sightings, you know, the standard f***ing spooky shit on at night. And he would sit up like the undertaker boom off the couch and just start talking. He pointed at this f***ing bird that we had on the door or a duck or something. So it was a draft blocker, you know, and it hung from the door and like you'd put on the ground, it flattened out and block the draft from under the door. Well, When you weren't using it, you put it on the door handle and just hung there. He woke up, started talking to it like it was in the house, like it was a friend. Totally all kinds of shit. I'm looking at him terrified because I was just watching Unsolved Mysteries with that dude's voice. You know, and the body was never found. f***ing freaking out. He's he's talking to this f***ing. Yeah, he's talking to this f***ing bird. We found the body in the house. He's talking to this bird and then he passes straight back to sleep like nothing happened. is when these things happen, because they happen more than once. this was a weekly thing. But it wasn't always the bird. was something you know other shit. I just to just be walking around. time it had happened, I'd be into it. Like I, I remember getting up and really like seeing something or believing it was something and it being that like vividly and in the middle of like doing what I was doing, I would see this guy looking at me. This guy would be looking at me and I in the middle of it, I'm tripping right now. Like I would come back halfway to reality and be like, I am scared in the room. I'm acting crazy. And I would be like, the only way to avoid the embarrassment for me in the moment was to go back to sleep because I would snap out of it midway through and I could be like, you know, sorry, like that was crazy. but he continued the whole conversation of crazy and then stare at me and go back to his seat. midway through I could have been like yo dude sorry that was crazy I'm good now but I was so embarrassed I was like we go to sleep we'll talk about it in the morning I'm not sick, that's fine. Yeah, I swear I meant that last night. This dude poked me in the eyeball. That was wrong. me do and then you f***ing ninja kick me off the top bunk I remember him peeking up on the bunk. was like, Tony, I was like, crack my eye open. I think it was juicy. I juice all over. Disgusting. But yeah, now that was a that was just more adventures in the trailer weird shit happening Tony talking nonsense He was a sleepwalker kind of but not really sleep talker. I guess sleep talking There was bad. you write I thought I had skeletor chased me through that house Chased me from my room all the way to mom's room And you know the trailer set up where like it's the two two kids rooms in the front little hallway little living room little kitchen, go past the washer and dryer, past the furnace that for some reason that pilot light always f***ing blew out and was the hardest pilot light in the history of time to f***ing light. And then the master bedroom in the back and Skeletor chased me from my room, which was in the front all the way to my mom's room. I even stopped by the washer and dryer thing and I ran this. I look around. No, he's still there by the door is like, f***, took off. I might have been there? Yeah, might have been tripping might have been you know, semi hallucinatory. I don't know is weird Yeah, everything you know And then then to top it all off. It's like yeah the furnace furnace pilot light blew out go ahead and light that Dude when I you had to roll up the f***ing newspaper like this long ass f***ing finger hold the f***ing door open that was like So hard to hold open the spring they put in that was like the best spring I've ever seen in my entire life And then you got to feed that fucker in there still on fire and light it. Most of the time you'd light it, pull back and the f***ing thing would clip, f***ing knock the flame out or you'd do it, knock the flame out before you lit it. It was a pain in the ass. It took like half hour to light that thing. gotta twist that paper Yeah, it had to be real, real tight, real, real straight. Had to be a f***ing dart. and it gets your finger sometimes. Terrible. Because the thing is, you're supposed to have long ass matches for this. We never had the long ass matches ever. Like they had the match holder just dangling by it, you know, like, hey, there should be a long ass match because of that. And you could just slide it in really easy. Nope. Actually was gone. But anyway, since Halloween just ended, we have a just extreme amount of f***ing candy at my house now. We hit up like every trunk or treat that ever f***ing existed for some reason. so what we do is we like to. Yeah. Dude, it's at least two weeks, least two weeks. It is. It's a it's a thing forever. And I don't understand why. Like for me. retreat and that's it. That's what you did. Yeah, you went the Friday before even you're like, I will just go this one. Fuck it. Not us. And then we hand out candy and stuff. So what we do is when we get all this candy, we we go through it and then you know, the candy the kids don't like or don't eat, put it in a little bin. And that's what we hand out for trick or treaters. Kind of works out. It's like a recycle candy factory. Except when we get candy corn, we throw that shit away. I don't wish that on my own. I don't wish that on my enemies. Candy going nice. It sucks. the candy corn. And so and then how do you candy corn one layer at a time or you bite the white, the yellow and the orange? is. I think it's yellow orange. think orange is at the end, right? that was white orange yellow what's candy corn go like it's a white orange yellow I thought it was like a little flame, you know? Orange, yellow, Eh. Either way, it is the worst candy of all time. I'm not a fan of candy corn. I don't even give that shit away. I'm like, throw it away. Throw it in the trash. corn? No. That's Butterfinger is different. It's crispy, crunchy peanut buttery. I didn't know that. That's We need a fact checker in the house. That's weird. do we need someone to fact-check this this is this sounds like bullshit to me Yeah Dude, if there is any relation at all, I will not eat butterfinger no more. I'll be out. I'll be like we're good on butterfinger You want to f*** me with the candy corn now? We're out stupid but And then we watched you know, watch some scary movies watch some spooky movies This year we didn't really get our spooky movie fiesta but the kids did their own thing so that's cool. Although me and Tay went and a terrifier, know, terrifier 3. I like the second one, thought the second one was fantastic. Eh, you didn't really miss much. Yeah, you got to the glut. You got to the glass shard part. and was crazy. It's like so crazy and so outrageous. It's like entertaining. But at the same time, it's like, why am I watching this? This is like so bad. It's rough. It's a rough, rough show. what makes it good and different because it's psycho The second one was great. I really enjoyed the second one. I thought the second one was great. Third one was good, but the second one for me was the high mark on those. But like, you know, Nightmare on Elm Street, man. Love Nightmare on Elm Street, the first one. I like the third one. The second one was weird. It was like rushed. It didn't seem like it joined the Freddy movies right. And then. remember watching Wes Craven's New Nightmare by myself at like seven years old. And I was terrified. I was absolutely frightened to go to sleep. You're like, he is real. in the trailer by myself at like seven. If you were in the trailer over on Gale, you had to be like 12. I'm saying that'll work. I'm in the book Wes Craven's New Nightmare, when did that come out? I can't remember. Maybe it was the second trailer. still, I'm trying to make myself sound better, feel better. I was seven, okay? Same thing when you're talking about this, same thing. 12, thinking I'm thinking I can handle it. Well, cause like the first time around I'm sure it was good. The second one didn't even seem like it went. The third one was great, you know, cause it was another Wes Craven one. The fourth one was just like goofy. Had some cool kills, but goofy. The fifth one, goofy. Freddy's dead, goofy. Wes Craven's, not goofy. think I remember calling you though and asking you like what explain like you were like you like hey hey Quest Cravens is he actually comes to live you know it's kind of you know I was like okay well it's too far-fetched to believe it I can handle it like bringing him really to life scared the shit out of me so he comes out of the dreams he gets you everywhere He can't be stopped. my God. Right. Yeah, that was the only way you beat him. just I'm just going to be awake. I mean, meth addicts. Can you imagine? Could you imagine Freddie like hunting a meth addict? Dude, he'd never win that method. It'd be f***ing scratching, doing crosswords and shit for f***ing weeks, He just give up. Maybe either that or he goes in that dream and the guy's like, You don't even know you're dead. Nobody does. They're like, he's he's on the come down. It'll be fine. He'll be all right. He not sick. He'll be fine. concept for a scary movie ever. yeah. Well, cause like, look at, look at Jason. Jason's like his mom was the killer in the first one. And then he was like the deformed kid at the end of the first one. And then he goes from being a deformed kid to like this giant f***ing psycho killer, demonic psycho killer. And he walks slow as shit. No, I was like, I was like, my God, man. I was like, come on, Jason, let's, let's, let's stop it a little bit. You know? No. Like They had Jason, what was it? The final Friday. Was it the final Friday? the final chapter. Sorry, my bad. It was the final chapter. And then after that, Jason lives. my God. So he's alive now. He's dead now he's alive. And then they had, yeah, it took them 10 movies to go to space. mean, Fast and Furious didn't eight. So I mean, they're ahead of the curve. That is crazy. Like Leprechaun, remember the Leprechaun movies? It took Leprechaun, yeah, it took Leprechaun four movies to go to space. I don't even remember Leprechaun Crown tour three. All I remember is Leopard Crown one with Jennifer Aniston and then Leopard Crown in space. What can we, what happened the other? Yeah, the first one. Yeah, weird. And like, Critters, look at Critters. Leonardo DiCaprio was in one of the Critters movies. Can't remember which one, but he's in one of them. Leonardo DiCaprio's in Hollywood, diddy parties. yeah, let Freddy go in that guy's dream, huh? Ooh, pretty be like, let me out. Let me out. Let them go to Diddy's dream. my God. Can you imagine Freddy going to diddy's dream really like, I'm out. This, this, this ain't for me. This is the wrong party. I am done. Yeah, no, this is not going the way I wanted it to be. This is horrible. Everything you do, he's just turn around on you like, my God, you're in back of me again. How how do you keep getting behind me? Did you just did you show? Yeah, dude, you show up like a shadow just pull, you know, looks like Venom's head just right behind you like, God damn, don't get the f*** away from me. Yeah, like, my God, trying to like peek under the covers to get him or like peek under the bed to get him behind you like son of a bitch. Fred would be like, wait, wake me up. Throw away the key! Horrible like like Michael Myers Michael Myers is crap too. Like this is big dude. Walk slow as hell He's a normal dude, apparently like they've never said he's not a normal guy, but he's unkillable They've killed him a hundred times. He's unkillable normal guy Like the new the Halloween's like Halloween and then Halloween kills and Halloween ends I Halloween kills was great and Halloween ends was just dog shit. It was so bad the one I watched it because it wasn't too bad the Halloween kills one it wasn't bad they kill Lori's daughter at the end like they had the the gang of people like beat up Michael and Michael gives the upper hand somehow and kills them all and then he goes and kills the daughter Yeah It's like my god shoot him from a building have us have somebody on somebody got to have a rifle right shoot him from a ways Well, you think if you had this recurring problem of a guy killing everybody on Halloween, you'd be ready one Halloween. Like just one time, right? One time in 30 f***ing years you'd be like, yeah, I got this. Like his lawyer was ready when they went to his house in the first one or went to her house in the first one. Like she was ready. Still didn't kill him. He came out of the f***ing flames like the Phoenix, but whatever came out, killed a bunch of firefighters and shit is weird, but whatever. Yeah, part of the story, whatever. But, I that Halloween ends was horrible. Like it's another kid that's kind of like Michael through the whole thing. And then he shows up at the end and then they grind him up in like a car grinder. like, really? I said, you could have done so much more with this. And they fucked that all up. But even the new the older ones are shit. I had Busta Rhymes in one. And that was one of the better ones. You know, your franchise is in trouble when Busta Rhymes is in a movie with you. And that's a that's one of the good ones. Yeah, he's a good rapper though. yeah. Like he even like talk shit to Michael like because like there were he was there was a dude dressed up like Michael Myers and Pastor Ramos walks up to him. He's like, what are doing? You got to go over there, you know, like yelling at him and shit. Then Michael just walks away like the in terrifying three to how you summon teraphy. You made it past that part. All these wrestlers being actors. Chris Jericho looks old as shit, dude. Like remember Chris Jericho back in the day? He was a skinny little guy. And he's all fat. Well, not fat, but you know, like all exploded, I guess. Yeah, old. Got that TRT something. He's got to be taking something big. He's just he got that leather face, you know, he got that Hulk Hogan tan. Yeah, that's good. I like Jericho, but yeah. He look old. that you need to retire. Or like soon. But yeah, he's in that EW. He does it all the time. Or at least relatively all the time. But then what else we got f***ing? You know, you got the Hellraiser movies like the first and second Hellraiser love those movies that her Hellraiser was when I got shitty like when I got like real, real cheesy. It's one that they had the CD head guy that was like shooting CDs of people killing them. And then you had the bloodline. Yeah, yeah, he was just lead Cenobite in the first one. It was weird. But yeah, I the box. Yeah, it was the puzzle box. Remember they had to solve the little box and then he comes out like the demons come out and steal a soul and shit. Chains come from nowhere, rip people apart. Maybe. Never really was into it. they made a reboot of it on Hulu last year. It wasn't bad. I'm just saying like horror movies for the most part are kind of like I watch them because I want to see the kills. I mean, like I watch the horror movies to see the kills. Like how inventive, how crazy you get with your kills. Like I watched. Yeah, they went like I told you they couldn't murder people any more than they murder people in that movie. yeah. Alley in a room. Yeah. You Hey, what about rubbing salt in the wound? He's like... it's done. Yeah. Have a little have a little Morton and some distilled vinegar. Yeah, it's crazy. They're like, my God. Crazy. Yeah, like, because you're like laughing, but you're like, man, should I laugh at this? Or should I just be like, that's a little far. But like, I feel weird for laughing. But this is kind of funny. But it's not at the same time. Like, it's weird. So one of those we were like, I'm cheering for it. But I'm also like, I don't know if I should be cheering for this shit. This is crazy. when he snapped her arm back and forth and ripped it off. Yeah That's how we eat the flats. Yeah, just suck it off. I never knew that. I can't do that now. I've tried that. It doesn't work for me. it works. If you get a, if you get a wing cooked, right, you can easy. a problem because we have Buffalo Wild Wings or Wingstop. Like it's not like we're getting premium wings here. Yeah, we get f***ing rehydrated f***ing fried six times wings. to at work so Hello, boop boop. dude, I'd be 12 times as fat if I knew that back back in the day Give me give me 20 years on that. dude doing that getting your tongue through there all Trying to get there Yeah, trying to push it with your tongue or like you put your finger in there eat it from the other side. Yeah, I know Yeah, it's stupid No, instead like these guys are just like blam blam. Why's it? God damn if anything the internet has taught me as ways to be more fat or ways to efficiently eat. Like here, this is how you're going to blow through f***ing 50 wings in 10 seconds. I'm driving down f***ing. Right? you want to talk about it? So have you had a chicken Big Mac yet? No, don't go there much. We go every Friday. It's McDonald's and Chick-fil-A every Friday because the baby likes the chicken nuggets, you know, so we get chicken nuggets from McDonald's and Chick-fil-A. Anyway, I got a f***ing chicken Big Mac because I want to try it. was like, it's new. Let me try it. You know, whatever. I bit into that and I was like, OK, this is OK. But in my mind, for some reason, I was expecting them to use the spicy chicken sandwich chicken and put that in the Big Mac. And I think if they would have put the spicy chicken sandwich chicken in the Big Mac, I think that thing would have been a f***in home run. Because that spicy f***ing McChicken is pretty good. Like it was way good when it was a dollar. Now that it's like five dollars, it's not as good. But when it was a dollar, that shit was that dude that hit that and a f***ing McDouble dude, McDouble and spicy chicken. Mm hmm. Fuck. Hit like a moptherf***er But I'm just saying if they were to put that chicken sandwich or chicken patty in the f***ing chicken Big Mac, I think that would have been the way. That would been the f***ing way to do it. Because I bit into it was like, mmm. to fat people and ask them what they should do next? Or they just people buying the desk or like, and they should. yes, dude. It's like watching people like they'll go get like a piece of chicken from f***ing Chick-fil-a and then they'll go get something from somewhere else and then they f***ing combine it and they're like, yeah, here you go You know, this is the sandwich like Hmm, that is the sandwich or like when they when we'd make the was it the McNasty's, know was just the double chicken in the or the double McDouble and the f***ing McChicken put together. You just stack them together is like one big sandwich and eat them That was delicious Like that's that's pre internet though, you know, or pre tik tok Fucking tik tok. We have you make some crazy shit. They're like, you want to do this? do know if you mix this and this together? It tastes like this. I got to try it. Let's do it. 9 times out of 10 They're right. But that 10th time they really f*** you. They really f*** you on shit being not the right way. It's like that didn't taste like that at all. Well, not now you're fasting involuntary fasting. Speaking of that, yeah, he, don't know. helps, know, certain things and then sometimes you got a fast, you know, so I don't trouble and his wife texted Tony and said the best way to help is if you fast for him. And I was like, Tony gonna die if I offer him f***ing Jersey Mike's tomorrow. If go Tony, you want to get Jersey Mike's? It's just this evening, night and in the morning. I'm eating by lunch tomorrow. This isn't a fast to lose weight. This is a fast to help a brother out. This is just a camaraderie flat fest. Is there way to help my brother? Is it like an eight hour, 12 hour, 24? end up being at least 12 minimum. That's not bad. Probably going to 16, 18 hours. When you eating that yogurt at the morning toll? I have to wait. I want to wait until he sees the judge. Like when I get word that he's seen the judge. Yeah, then I'll eat. Does he actually speak? Is he actually going to speak with the judge or is he going to just hold out? Also see the judge Monday. See how that goes. I'll fast form and hopefully it helps. Now, going to sports real fast. I was unaware that Buffaloes didn't play this weekend until I was, I was, dude, I was waiting till like 10 at night. was like, these guys still aren't playing. When the hell did they come on? I was like, they don't even play it this week. Yeah, if it's going to be if it's gonna be forever. Yeah, I'm there eyes bleeding and shit. I was like, why don't they play? It's weird. I didn't know they didn't like I thought they had their buy already. And now they get another one. is I didn't know how much I like enjoy watching them play until the by like even last year, like I was like, dang, you know, I'm caught up in this neon thing, you know, because we're like Colorado fans, like we were born here, raised here, like this is this is home. So you get stuck. We get stuck with the Rockies. We get stuck with the Rockies and all these terrible years of, you know, the Broncos and but we were. We're true. know, avalanche probably had the most winning franchise. semi consistent, at least they've been like close to being good every year. I mean, we we we ride high with Colorado and we, you know, suffer when they suck. But so when Dion came, I was like. Rock Bottom has a basement. So when D1 came, was excited and I was like, dang man, this is like, I hope you can coach. This isn't just like, I've been like, cause you know how any, any fan knows like a team, like when a team loses that you're really behind, it bothers you, you know? I was like, I don't want to be all invested. Like I'll put my heart into this and it, and it suck and they suck every week. that their team is actually pretty good. It's not just like Chider and Travis and Travis being hurt like two, three games. And it's like, all our momentum was gone. That guy is amazing. Like, But he really does need like cut back on the snaps to he really does like he needs to come down to like a normal amount of snaps. tad bit bigger I would think dude just so could take the punishment and the pros like I know, but I think his size helps his like, shifteness. Like when he's being cornered, it probably helps. Yeah, but that's why, like, when he makes his decision, because like, like everybody's saying, like, and I'm not him, I don't know how he feels like maybe he can do both ways in the pros. mean, that's I'm not trying to say I know better, but like he has to pick one to do primarily, you know, if that's receiver, he could put on some weight, you know. yeah, then you can gain some weight. But like, like, should I was having a good year? Like, seems like Colorado's like whole football team is doing pretty well. Like, I'm like, okay, cool. I was like, yeah, this is back when we went to the Orange Bowl all the time with, you know, like, BNME and Rocket Ishmael and know, Rashan Salam and shit like that. Like, all right, cool. You know, Kordell Stewart, you know, slash back in those days. Like, that's when we were like, amazing. relies on that they weren't playing. was like, it's kind of bothered me. was like, damn, like I wanted to see him like, cause they're there. It's electric, man. Like watch them play. Like it's going to suck when we lose our quarterback and our receiver. Yeah, like next year is gonna be a weird year, but because I think Cheddar is great too. He gonna go top five he's gonna you already know he's going top five It really should be the first quarterback. For sure. I think it just depends on who's Since, you know. should go first. And then, I don't know, it does depend on who's picking, guess. Or it's the dirt. Because like if like Vegas is up there, they're picking shooter. If it's Carolina, they're picking shooter. Even though Deion said that he'd never go to Carolina. That you. Yeah, but. But, you know, it's it's Carolina like. Yeah, I guess I could see him doing an Eli, you know, forcing trade to go somewhere else. I'll end up in Las Vegas. I'll have to play them. know, Broncos put up a shit show today. That was good. I like giving up 41 points. It was miserable. It was hard to watch. Like, we're still like, you keep telling yourself, we're a young team. We're getting there. And I mean, it's just that we're on the road or against Baltimore who just lost to Cleveland by some miracle. I mean, Cleveland looked terrible today against The chargers. I always want to see San Diego. I have a hard time saying Los Angeles, LA Chargers. I always want to call them San Diego. But the Cleveland looked horrible today against them, but they beat the Ravens. I think that's one thing with the Ravens. You got to play them often to kind of be able to know how they're going to play you. think that's the one advantage of it. gotta catch him in the playoffs and you can beat him That and it seems like the way you beat the Ravens is you get a lead. You get a lead and then you basically disable Derek Henry. And then that takes away that weapon. And then you're just playing the pass. Like if you can go up a couple of scores on them, you're gonna beat them. That's why the Chiefs are dangerous. Cause they can go up two scores on anybody like in a blink of an eye. But you know, then they kind of f*** around, they do other shit, it's weird. Like I don't know, the Chiefs, they just have that right formula right now, and that bothers me. Just because they're in our division, it's hard for me to watch them, I'm like, God, I don't want to watch these guys. Is that foil? Is she ripping foil over there? Sounds like lightning. Lightning and thunder out there. I mean, we got our own f***ing... What is it? Special effects right there. Anyway, I'm not sick. Episode two, you know, week later. Dose. Yeah, this is the sequel. Yeah, we'll be back next week. So later.